There were some comments today in class about how young children can readily speak their mind and ask anything they want. In certain contexts it is deamed as 'cute' and acceptable. But the question arose as to "When do we stop ourselves from asking certain questions and doing different things?" Does society predetermine what is acceptable conversation and what is not? Does our location affect what we enable ourselves to do and say? Or are we our own worst enemies?
In the past few weeks, I have found that I prohibit myself from saying certain things or expressing my opinion because I don't know how other people will take it. I sometimes feel that my thoughts aren't 'correct' or valid in a particular discussion because I lack the experience that I deem necessary to validate what I am thinking about. Am I creating an enemy within myself or am I afraid to express myself because society has told me that certain topics and opinions are unworthly of consideration?
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towards the end of class, there was a comment about how powerful shame and fear are. We've talked a lot about ism's;--one we haven't addressed while talking about language/silencing is the shame and the silencing that takes place academically.
There seems to be intelligence discrimination that happens. This place, both WCC and graduate level classes, are new environments to me. I don't fit in the academic language, vocabulary nor thought process. And I feel dumb and as though I am of lesser value because I can't manipulate my thoughts and sentences to fit the power structure here.
I've never heard this discussed. We rail about treating genders and races and sexuality fairly and equally....isn't there also a silent dismissing of intellectual inferiors? When there's silence in our philosophy classroom, it's not because I don't have thoughts, it's because I am shamed to share them.
And of course, as always, I connect this to my classroom. Do I create an environment in which students feel comfortable in speaking their true thoughts? Do I subconsciously dismiss my boys as they fumble with language or my ESL students who are trying to think and use nuances in a new language.
I think, this week, I am glimpsing how they may feel all the time.
Wow. Thanks for your honesty on this one. This is a struggle I think is really felt in my school district, more so than many other ism's. We send something like 90+% of our graduates on to college, but I wonder about what happens to that 10%. Do they feel silenced by their position on the academic ladder? Am I as their teacher reinforcing this feeling?
While we are confessing things about our class, I can say there have been many times my brain is still trying to process what I actually hear or think, and I'm sure any words I utter would come out completly incoherent, so I am silent.
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